They say all feelings come and go, they will pass (they say a lot of things). And yet I have this one that is always there, born after the violent finale of my childhood, that I now fear will last until my last breath. I’ve been in denial so long, thinking I can go back to how I used to be, but I guess I’m starting to accept reality and the fact it’s never going to go away. Maybe I already have accepted it, that’s why this past year was the worst and I feel like an animated corpse being dragged here and there along the thick concrete roads that joyfully smother any life underneath them. The weariness of my soul is akin to the screams of the damned - it never stops and it hurts my ears so fucking much. I have turned white and still, like the vast coral reefs dying forever more from the chemical tears of the humans and their sacred coins they toss into the abyss. Dear universe, make my time short, cast your constellations into my heart.